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Okay folks, buckle-up because we’re going there! Put your eyes back in your head, close your mouths, and get the giggles out. It’s time to take a serious look at the benefits of masturbation when you’re dealing with fibromyalgia…and how to go about it (sort of.) But who are we kidding, it’s still a giggle-worthy topic so just indulge your childish nature and go with it.
High On Sex
Oh the flood of hormones and chemicals that are released during the entire process: from the kissing and touching to the climb up to orgasm and on through to the post-orgasm wrap-up. There’s dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins at play, and those are just the ones we know about. They are literally natural pain relievers, are shown to reduce insomnia, and also produce feelings of euphoria similar to certain drugs. “Taking cocaine [for example] and having sex don’t feel exactly the same, but they do involve the same [brain] regions as well as different regions of the brain,” says Timothy Fong, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine.
“Ok, I get it: sex basically gets you high and that sounds great,” you think, “but I have fibromyalgia and the whole process starts with a lot of touching…which is a huge problem when I’m having a flare, and that’s if I have the energy to devote to sex.” Well that’s one of the more fascinating things about the brain: it can release those chemicals with or without a partner. That is because the most powerful sex organ is the mind. That’s not a cliché, rather the ability to create reality through the conscious mind is the focus of not only ancient philosophers and sages, but even today it is studied by neuroscientists, psychologists, and the like. What this means for fibromyalgia patients is that imagining or visualizing during masturbation can be just as powerful as having a tangible partner with which to participate. The added bonus is that you don’t have to worry about being touched too hard or getting fatigued in the middle of foreplay, or God forbid, just before one of you is about to have an orgasm.
But What About My Partner?
If you are sensitive to touch, have sore and achy muscles, or are exhausted due to fibromyalgia, the thought of intimate contact with someone else can seem daunting, if not annoying or down-right hostile. This can take a toll on any intimate relationship. And, even though it should go without saying, it’s still good to be reminded that open communication about the effects your fibromyalgia is having on your sex-drive is absolutely necessary. When your sensitivity is heightened or you are aching all over, mutual masturbation can be a helpful alternative to full-contact sex with your partner. Of course, the level of physical contact within an intimate relationship can certainly operate and even thrive on a continuum. Only you can determine what is most beneficial for your body when it comes to sexual intimacy. And that can vary from day to day and even moment to moment when fibromyalgia is factored in. So take it in stride, try to maintain a sense of humor, and don’t be afraid to experiment with your partner to see what is most helpful for your current fibro symptoms.
If I’m Too Tired for Sex, Why Would I Bother Masturbating?
So your fibromyalgia has you too weak or achy to move at all, but you want the benefits that come from sex. No problem. There is no shortage of toys that basically do all the work for you. And they aren’t exactly a new technology either. In fact, the oldest known phallus, dates back 28,000 years. And the variety…whew! There’s something for every gender under the sun. But if that’s a bit too kinky for you, then just ask your partner to do it for you. The key to this, when your fibromyalgia symptoms are the initial problem, is to shamelessly be explicit about what you can and can’t handle in the moment. Don’t be afraid to give a play-by-play edit or commentary so that your partner can make the most of it for you. And furthermore, don’t be afraid to ask for your partners’ help while also explaining that you won’t be reciprocating.
You don’t have to take my word for any of this. The internet is alive with forums of fibromyalgia patients discussing this very topic: masturbation as a means to alleviate many of their symptoms. It works, people, so give it a try. And by all means, share your funny thoughts about it with us too!
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