Is living alone good for us?

John Hopton for redOrbit.com – @Johnfinitum
Changing social conditions in recent decades have led to more of us living alone, eating alone and generally living more solitary existences. People who live alone already make up 28 percent of all US households, which makes them more common than any other domestic unit, including the nuclear family. Several studies have found that loneliness is damaging to health, but Klinenberg believes that we can’t simply state the phenomenon of Going Solo, to quote his book title, is detrimental to people or society. In fact, quite the opposite may be true.
Alone but not lonely
For a start, we should differentiate between loneliness and domestic solitude, Klinenberg says. For many people, living alone is a choice, happily made, and one which comes with many benefits. We should also avoid assuming that connecting through technology does not count as a ‘real’ connection.
“Loneliness can be dangerous, but it’s not the same as living alone. We confuse them all the time,” Klinenberg explains. “The emergence of new communications technologies can make living alone a more social experience.”
In fact, while technology allows us to be connected to people even if physically alone, people who live alone are of course not the only people who are permanently connected, and living alone can give us a break from our connections, electronic and physical.
“These days most of us are over-connected,” says Klinenberg. “We are immersed in social media and constantly communicating on digitial devices. In this context, living alone can give people a chance to turn off and gain some productive solitude. Paradoxically, that might be exactly what they need to make deeper connections.”
Living alone but with technology at our fingertips, then, we can regulate the amount of social communication we have to be just as we like it.
Revitalizing cities by turning sidewalks into living rooms
“Going solo” does not only benefit the people living alone, and nor does it depend entirely on electronic communication. It has advantages for society in general, as well.
“The rise of cities give people a way to live alone, together, in neighborhoods designed for public life,” Klinenberg suggests. “Also, people tend to live alone in urban areas where they are surrounded by others who are also going solo. When they want to go out, they turn the local shops and sidewalks into their living rooms. They’re more likely than married people to spend time with friends, neighbors, and strangers in public areas. They’ve played a leading role in the revitalization of cities.”
Table for one – eating alone
And what about eating alone, does that have benefits, too? Not so many, according to Klinenberg, but more and more of us are doing it.
“Eating alone takes some getting used to, and cooking alone is even harder, especially when you have to do it often,” says Klinenberg. “These days, though, lots of people eat alone, regardless of their domestic status. We live in a free agent society, where a great number of people spend their days on their own. That includes getting lunch, and sometimes other meals, alone. Increasingly, restaurants are taking notice, and putting in communal tables rather than tables for one or two.”
A solo future?
So how did so many of us end up living alone, and what can we expect in the future?
“It requires some degree of affluence and security, so the market economy and the welfare state have been crucial,” Klinenberg explains. “But there are a bunch of additional factors: The rising status of women, who gained access to the paid labor market and greater control of their lives and bodies… and the aging of the population, which means a record number of people are outliving their spouses and living alone for long stretches in their final years.” These factors, plus the changes in technology which make being alone less lonely, help to explain the rise of solo living.
As for the future, Klinenberg says that currently: “The US is behind the times on this trend. Living alone is far more common in Europe, particularly in the Scandinavian nations, and even more prevalent in Japan.” However, he concludes: “I think it will increase in developing nations, places like India, China, and Brazil, but remain fairly steady in places where it has reached around 1/3 of all households.” A point which the US has almost reached already.
It appears that too much solitude, such as eating alone too often, is not good for us, but conversely when it comes to living alone there is a lot to be said for it. So much so, in fact, that Time Magazine featured the concept of “going solo” as their “#1 idea that is changing your life” with Klinenberg as their cover story.
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