Decoding the body language of flirting

Abbey Hull for redOrbit.com – @AbbeyHull4160
“By a man’s fingernails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boots, by his trouser-knees, by the calluses of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt-cuffs, by his movements—by each of these things a man’s calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent enquirer in any case is almost inconceivable.” –Sherlock Holmes, 1892
Holmes has a point here when reading body language—you can tell a man’s calling…and his interests! Think he’s flirting with you? How do you know if she’s interested? Read on to learn the signs.
Men always make the first move: FALSE
Yes, you read this correctly. Multiple studies show that 90% of the time, women are the initiators of romantic interactions. Women will subtly send clues via body language towards men they are interested in, and if a man notices, he will be more likely to make a move in return.
How to start flirting
To start the flirtation process, it all begins with the eyes. First, you spot a person you are interested in. Men and women try to catch the gaze of the other person and hold it for a few seconds to show initial interest. If the tactic is done multiple times successfully, the man will know that he is welcome to approach you and that you appear open and welcoming.
Female signs of flirtation:
There are ways to show signs of flirtation, but for females, our arsenal is infinite. However, here are some common signs that you may note when meeting your girl for the first time:

  • She may “accidentally” touch you a few times to show interest
  • She will touch her hair and toss her head
  • Her knees will be pointed towards you
  • She might open her mouth slightly to make her lips seem fuller
  • She’ll move her hips more when she walks
  • And by slowly uncrossing and crossing her legs, she shows off her muscle tone and interest!

Male signs of flirtation:
We can’t forget a guy’s body language in these situations—theirs, while not as obvious, is still very present as they react to what they see. The main point of male body language is to assert confidence in the situation in ways both territorial and authorial. To do so, he may change they way they stand by putting his hands in his pockets, or pushing his elbows out to enlarge his chest. Other techniques can be:

  • Turning his body and feet towards you
  • Holding a gaze for longer than normal (to the point of discomfort)
  • He also may sit with open legs to emphasize his sexuality as well as his confidence

Disclaimer: While reading body language is all in good fun and can help us read a situation; you must use caution when attempting to read your new person of interest. Not all body language is as it seems, and so using context clues will help. She may be crossing her arms because she’s cold, and if she tosses her head and looks away too many times, it may show a sign of dismissal rather than welcome. Read the person, read the room, and then read body language with caution. You’d hate to ruin your chance for a date because he didn’t reciprocate your efforts. Give each other time, and it may very well be the start of something new.
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Comments 1

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