Abbey Hull for redOrbit.com – @AbbeyHull4160
In every relationship, there are some things you want in a partner: humor, intelligence, tall, dark, and handsome…you get the idea. But in most relationships there is one thing girls do not want—the big P… (No, not that!) …
Porn. That’s right, porn: all men have used it at least once, and while it may begin innocently enough (or as innocent as that can be…) it’s a slippery slope into addiction. Ladies fear that our guys will become addicted to porn, and so we must be prepared. It doesn’t take agent 007 to see the warning signs in our mates, because no matter how clever they think they are in erasing their internet history (and they will think that’s enough to cover their tracks), there are plenty of ways to tell if your partner has a porn addiction.
1. Less interest in the bedroom
While porn addiction may lead to increased time between the sheets, after a while the addiction will make your partner lose interest. He may become desensitized, and with all that energy going towards his computer screen, he may begin to prefer the safety of a screen over the intimate risks in the bedroom.
2. Unable to maintain an erection during sex
There are several medical reasons your partner may have erectile dysfunction, but porn can also induce his private to fall down on duty. After watching enough porn, the brain is conditioned to only “turn on” during masturbation with pornographic material.
3. Changes in sexual tastes
This doesn’t mean kinky is bad, but there may be an underlying reason behind his new interest. Some men show interest in “rough” sexual activities such as bondage, BDSM, group sex, or other actions that may make you feel belittled or inadequate. Love doesn’t hurt, and if he gets frustrated at you when he does something you haven’t discussed—he’s waving the red flag.
4. Excessive time online
This one is fairly obvious to see—if he’s spending more time looking at a screen than at you, it may be more than just “work” on his screen, especially at those odd middle-of-the-night hours or during your family reunion. Let’s face it: addictions make no exceptions.
5. More antisocial and distant
Many men describe the feeling of distance as “numb” when they begin to lose interest in their personal relationships with family and friends. His life will revolve around one thing—his next “hit,” and in those in-between times be sure to check for aggression, angry outbursts, lying, manipulative flattery, or lack of remorse.
6. Secretive actions and (more importantly) reactions
Try two simple tests: when he’s on his computer alone in the room, walk in unexpectedly. Does he nervously react? Test two: ask him what he’s been up to today. Does he become irritable, evasive, or defensive? Odds are he isn’t picking out your engagement ring at that moment, so be cautious of these signs.
7. Appearance is everything…to him
Your looks, weight, chest, and sexual performance can all go under the knife of his approval. Studies have shown that the more men watch porn, the more they devalue the attractiveness of “average people.”
No matter how much your partner tries to cover up his addiction, the fact remains that there are always ways of finding out. Just like any addiction, overexposure within your partner’s porn addiction can lead to a rewiring of his brain and a disconnect in the relationship.
Stand firm, know the signs, and don’t let his porn addiction get the best of you.
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