The statistics are staggering.
More women in the United States have been victims of domestic violence than have been raped, mugged or injured in auto accidents combined. Nearly 4 million women suffer from domestic violence every year and 30 percent of female homicide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends. These are just a few of the facts compiled by Rainbow Services, a San Pedro-based group dedicated to ending the cycle of family violence.
Abusers play a Mad Hatter’s cycle of aggression followed by periods of apologies and kindness. Victims flip-flop between emotions of love and hate under a constant layer of fear. They stay in a bad situation for fear of losing their children or feeling emotionally or financially dependent. Often they believe they have nowhere to go or are terrified at the reaction of their abuser, the center’s counselors say.
In truth, they are far from alone and public outrage is growing. Today a woman is beaten in the United States every nine seconds, according to FBI records, and family violence costs the nation from $5 billion to $10 billion annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters, foster care, sick leave and lack of productivity. Despite this, there still are three times as many animal shelters in the United States as there are shelters for battered women.
Organizations such as Rainbow Services are constantly bucking the tide of public ignorance or apathy with their fervent mission to end the cycle of family violence. The organization’s first task is to help each victim survive and remain safe.
At Rainbow Services, the process usually begins with a phone call to its 24-hour English/Spanish hotline. It receives an average of 400 calls each month. Trained staff members assess each situation and provide support, information and often immediate action at little or no cost to the caller.
Women and children in immediate danger needing to escape abuse can be met by a shelter staff member and taken to a secure and confidential emergency shelter for as many as 30 days where they receive meals, clothing, health exams, counseling, case management, legal advocacy and court accompaniment. Clients generally are sent to confidential shelters in a different community in Southern California to keep them hidden from their abusers.
After that clients working toward emotional and financial independence can stay at a transitional shelter for as many as nine months. While victims stay in shelters, trained staff can help with police reports, restraining orders and other legal procedures at little or no cost.
Despite efforts to get the word out that help is available, counselors say there still is enormous secrecy and shame surrounding a battered victim. Also the facts become blurred by persistent societal excuses protecting perpetrators such as “Oh, he just had a temporary loss of temper,” or “She goaded him into it. It’s her fault.”
Fighting fiction
Some cultural and historical traditions either condone or once allowed wife-beating. Early American settlers, who based their laws on old English common-law, allowed wife-beating as long as the switch was “no bigger than his thumb. Hence the “rule of thumb.”
The Los Angeles County Domestic Violence Council counters some of the most blatant myths. About the temporary loss of temper excuse, it maintains “the batterer makes a conscious decision to batter. It is an ongoing technique used by the batterer to enforce control through the use of fear.”
Another myth is that domestic violence only happens in poor families. The council points out there is no evidence that suggests that any income level, occupation, social class or culture is immune. “Wealthy, educated professionals are just as prone to violence as anyone,” it notes in materials given by Rainbow Services to victims of domestic violence.
The myth that violence is just an occasional slap or punch also is debunked. According to L. A. County Domestic Violence Council, more than 30 percent of women seeking care in hospital emergency rooms are there because of injuries by their domestic partners. Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages or have premature births.
Another myth is that if a batterer is truly sorry and promises to reform the abuse will stop. In truth, remorse and begging forgiveness are part of the method used to control victims. The sad truth is that batterers rarely stop.
A much believed myth is that infrequent episodes mean the situation isn’t serious. “The threat of abuse is a terrorizing means of control. No matter how infrequent the abuse, each event creates fear that one will happen in the future,” maintains the council.
How to help
Rainbow Services has an enthusiastic circle of supporters who range from volunteers who have taken the 40-hour training program similar to the next series from 6 to 9 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays beginning Monday through Oct. 17. The 40 hours of training is free for Rainbow Services volunteers. For more information, call 310-548- 5450, Ext. 108.
Among the topics covered at the training course will be law enforcement response to domestic violence, cultural competency and domestic violence, batterer’s intervention groups, Tuberculosis tests, fingerprints, a tour of the outreach office, an overview of Rainbow Services, case managers and crisis intervention health and referral service, working with children and teens, sexual assault and public assistance or financial aid.
In addition to those who work directly with victims, Rainbow Services is looking for volunteers who can provide legal, administrative, fund-raising, medical, dental or computer services. The 40-hour training program is not required for these volunteers.
Since many families have to get away quickly, many arrive only with the clothes on their backs. Therefore financial contributions are welcome, as well as donations of new necessary items (such as food, clothing and hygiene products).
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