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I’ve often said that my first pregnancy was a dream and my second one was a nightmare. Yes, I’ll admit that I am apparently a weirdo who is actually very creeped out by being pregnant. I have yet to meet another woman who didn’t just “love” it when that unborn child would move around in her belly. But not me. I mean, yeah, it was great because I knew my babies were alive and literally kicking my butt. But it was just plain creepy to me. There were human beings inside my body… and they were moving. Haven’t you seen the first Alien movie?! Also, being pregnant hurts in ways that no relative or book can tell you about. Of course, every woman is different.
Like I said, my first pregnancy was a dream. Yes, it definitely included pain. But it was nothing like the pain I experienced during the second one. Despite my tears and pleas, my OB-GYN refused to induce early because neither me nor my baby were in actual danger. When the time finally came, I required four hours of surgery due to previously undetectable scar tissue. It turns out that scar tissue had just been pulling and stretching all during my pregnancy as my belly grew larger and larger. Do you have any idea how vindicated I felt? “I told you!” I thought to myself. But my doctor was so nice and compassionate, I just quietly listened to his admonition to never have children again.
People with Pain Sensitivity
I’ve never really had much of a pain threshold. You might call me a baby, but if you have fibromyalgia or any other chronic pain condition, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. You see, when I talk about my pregnancy experiences with other women, they always seem confused by them. For years, I didn’t understand why no one else was really experiencing the kind of pain I did through either of my pregnancies. Probably one of the greatest things that happened to me in life was discovering that I am a highly sensitive person. No, that’s not a disorder or an emotional problem. It’s actually a temperament. “Highly sensitive person” (HSP) is a phrase coined by psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron.
This is a big box to unwrap, but I’m only going to peel off a corner or two. The first thing you should know is that 15-20% of the population has a central nervous system that is much more heightened than the rest of the population. The second thing you should know about HSPs is that, in addition to our brains working a little differently, nearly every sensation HSPs experience carries the intensity of a hurricane. From there, you should be able to figure out that HSPs tire easily from being constantly overly-stimulated. You should also now understand that the experience of pain for a HSPs is magnified greatly.
Fibromyalgia and Pregnancy
I recently came across a woman in her ninth month of pregnancy who felt no pain or discomfort. I didn’t even know that was possible. And it’s certainly not what happened to me. After finally understanding my heightened sensitivity to pain, I was able to put the puzzle pieces of my pregnancies together. And it makes the same kind of sense in the context of fibromyalgia because there are so many similarities to fibro patients and HSPs. Especially when you consider that fibromyalgia is directly tied to increased pain sensitivity.
A Temple University study “found that women with fibromyalgia had more symptoms of pain during pregnancy than women who did not have fibromyalgia. Also, fibromyalgia symptoms seemed to be exacerbated during pregnancy. Pregnant women with fibromyalgia may experience significant pain, fatigue, and psychological stress, especially in the first three months.”
The Nightmare of Delivery
Last year I had the honor of being in the room while my sister-in-law delivered my niece in the comfort of her home with the aid of a midwife. While I wish I could have shared the same experience, I’m actually very fortunate to live during a time when C-sections are safe because I wouldn’t be alive otherwise. The experience of labor and delivery is already pretty overwhelming for every woman. If you are a highly sensitive person or have sensory processing issues as with Asperger patients, a labor and delivery room can feel like a waking nightmare. Constant interruptions, poking and prodding, the pain, the strangers and their moods, the pain….the list goes on. Or imagine going through labor and delivery while in the middle of a fibromyalgia flare.
Again, the experience is overwhelming for nearly every woman because it’s just so intense. But adding a host of uncontrollable variables into the mix is akin to trying to deliver a baby on the Titanic while it’s sinking.
Trust me, folks. There’s not a lot of sympathy for women’s pain in general. But if you think for a second that anyone at a hospital cares about you being extra sensitive to pain while you’re in the middle of labor, think again. They think your experience is a dime a dozen and dismiss you like they’re passing on the soup-of-the-day.
Have you experienced childbearing while dealing with heightened sensitivity to pain or sensory issues in general? How did you cope with it?
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